How much?$300.
Oh... can we make it $159. All I want to do is-
It's $300 straight up.
Let me think about it.
Okay. But I'm worth it and just so you know, that is the going rate, unless you're dealing with a crackhead.
Okay- no big deal. Can you host?
Sure, but only for the next 3 hours.
That's not a lot of time.
I thought you said you had to be done by-
You're right; what am I talking about? That's plenty of time. Sorry. I'm just-
No problems. What were you looking to get into?
I don't know. This or that. I don't do this a lot.
Neither do I. Still; you kind have need to have some idea of what you-
What do you like to do?
Well- Rim, suck, fuck, kiss- as long as it's safe it's all good.
You clean?
Yes, and I don't do any drugs either.
How do you look again?
I sent you my picture-
I know but is that really you?
Yes.
Sorry I just-
Why would I send you a picture of someone not me?
Sorry- yeah, you're right it's- you're not a cop or anything, are you?
No; are you?
No. No. Just had to ask for-
Yeah. So?
You know what- actually, um. Never mind. I- maybe another time.
...
I get it. I could be a cop, or a crazy person, or have a billion diseases, or a total misrepresentation of who I say I am. This is scary stuff; I get that; I really do, but it you're just going to flake on me or decide that you're not into it at the last minute why don't you just save us both the trouble and go rent a porn instead; leave me out of the equation all together. Ugh! Some guys; I swear all they want is the thrill of talking to an actual 'hooker' online; such narcissism galls me especially when it comes into my livelihood. What amounts to a 'cheap' thrill for others is my life and I don't appreciate being toyed with. That's why I've developed a sort of protocol with communication. I call it the 3 strikes and you're out edict; if after 3 emails we haven't set anything up or at least exchanged contact information I stop responding all together. Usually really chatty dudes are just fat fucks with nothing better to do than lead a poor college student on anyway. It's when you get married guys on the down low that you start to run into problems. They run the gamut between being extremely forward and excited in one breath to being frightened sheep fretful of being busted in the next. One guy kept asking if I wasn't sure that I was a police officer; I finally got so frustrated that I forwarded his info over to the local precinct 'anonymously' and set up a date between him and a certain Sergeant Blanks. I hope they a grande time. Another time I spread a guy's contact info and our correspondence all over his neighbourhood and work place. The idiot didn't realize that his outgoing emails listed his addresses and contact numbers. You should have seen his face when he walked into the lobby of his office and apartment complex and saw his face and 'sexy' pictures with his name and number and letters posted all over them, hell you should have seen his wife's face. I'm not normally that petty with everyone... just the ones who lead me on. Time is money and if you keep me waiting for a half hour without any form of compensation, especially if I lose other work over you, be prepared to for me to take my pound of flesh out of you by other means. I'm a scary bitch sometimes... but if you pay the price, I treat you right in a night full of delight. ;)
-The Tart
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